i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
