i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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