If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
