she woke up with a sticky ear
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
