It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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