My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
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