I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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