I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
