Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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