It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
