we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My breasts were aching with rage.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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