I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
