Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
