He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
