I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
