Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
