Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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