are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
