oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
