is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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