forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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