we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
