I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize