Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
