Nicole vs. Life
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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