White coat. Heels.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
