My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize