kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
