There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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