Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
