we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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