It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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