I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
