Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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