I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
