Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
