Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
