my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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