Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize