OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
