I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
