thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
