Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
