my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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