Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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