the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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