My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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