I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She even gives head with a lisp.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize