He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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