is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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