it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
