don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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