is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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