he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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