I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
God, I missed his penis.
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