I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Send help, water and tortillas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
