I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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