Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
