i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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