Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
